


Cupid: no Longer an Archer

by greatestvoyagehistoryofplastic



Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-18
Updated: 2014-07-18
Packaged: 2018-02-09 09:53:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1978452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greatestvoyagehistoryofplastic/pseuds/greatestvoyagehistoryofplastic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Pedro quietened them all down with a “C’mon guys she should see it” and a dramatic sweeping gesture towards the laptop, which displayed a full-screen freeze-frame of Ben with panicked eyes.</p><p>“Hey he finally got his posters up!” said Hero, looking oddly at her friends as they burst out laughing. “What? What did I say?”</p><p>Balthazar managed to stop laughing for long enough to press play"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cupid: no Longer an Archer

“There’s another one”

Hero clapped the hand that wasn’t holding her phone over her mouth and let out a slightly frightened squeal of laughter.

_“Already?”_

“Yeah, I know. And it’s called Olives so I guess that’s a good sign?”

Hero laughed again “If you say so Claud”

Her boyfriend’s voice sounded endearingly sulky down the phone “Well he does _like_ olives. Can you get over to Pedro’s yet?”

She sighed “Leo said not until I finished my English essay, but I’m almost done. Do you think you can hold back the group viewing for like half an hour?”

“For you, anything. You’ll get here soon though?”

“Of course I will, I miss you” She smiled to thin air and twirled a strand of loose, blonde hair between her fingertips. What was it that Cate Balnchett said in that film? Something about parting being a sweet sorrow. She felt that now, the unspoken goodbye fluttering playfully in-between them. It would almost be her favourite part of these small, practical phone conversations with him if it didn’t signify their end.

“Right,” he said, she could practically see his blush. “See you later then?”

“Yes! Go, go and… stop the others from abusing their power over Bea’s phone too much, okay?”

“Okay beautiful, bye”

“bye”

Grinning, she flopped backwards onto her bed, narrowly avoiding her pile of notes.

* * *

 

“Hero!” Meg called out a while later, rushing from the doorway to hug her friend. “Hero, it’s even better than we thought: you’ve _got_ to come and see!”

Hero barely had time to prop her bike against the gate before she was being pulled into Pedro’s house and up the stairs. “I thought Claud was making you wait to watch it?” she inquired timidly.

Meg smiled back at her in an indulgent way. “Yeeeah he did try, but he forgot about our phones. You didn’t find yourself the brightest guy out there. But still,” she added encouragingly “at least he’s hot.”

Hero tried to think of a reply, but too soon she was being bundled into a room filled with Claud, Pedro, Balth and Ursula and their volley of greetings. Ursula slipped down from her perch on the bed to let her sit next to Claud and she smiled her thanks to her as she stepped past, trying to listen and reply to everyone at once.

Finally Pedro quietened them all down with a “C’mon guys she should see it” and a dramatic sweeping gesture towards the laptop, which displayed a full-screen freeze-frame of Ben with panicked eyes.

“Hey he finally got his posters up!” said Hero, looking oddly at her friends as they burst out laughing. “What? What did I say?”

Balthazar managed to stop laughing for long enough to press play, Ben’s digitised voice rang through the room as his arms spread wide:

> **“I finally got my posters up!”**

The room fell into hysterics again, this time Hero joined in, burying her face in Claud’s shoulder so that if he hadn’t squeezed her slightly, and Meg and Pedro hadn't high-fived during Ben’s first reaction to what he’d “overheard”, she would have missed it completely.

> **“Beatrice, _BEATRICE_ … LIKES ME! She _likes_ me. WHY NOT SOMEONE WHO LIKES HER BACK??”**

The smile faded off Hero’s face, what if this all had been some huge mistake? But the others were already cracking jokes, even Ursula was smugly muttering “oooh I think she does”. Clearly they knew more than she did.

> **“CLEARLY I am… NOT the person to fall in love with”**

Ben’s eyes looked desperate now, and frightened and she involuntarily let out a little “oh” of sympathy. Claud just smirked.

“Well he’s not exactly wrong, but we tried to fix that, listen:”

> **“…they said I’d act like some sort of… self-centred, proud, arrogant, unheroic douchebag”**

“That is a _lot_ of adjectives” commented Balthazar.

Pedro shrugged and punched his friend playfully on the shoulder “Personally I think it’s nearly my finest work, you can have it for lyrics if you want Balth.”

“Wait, what?” Hero looked at the boys in confusion “Why… why were you saying all that about him?”

“Partly for that reaction” said Claud warmly. “I never did get him back after her showed up at our date, and he has been kind of a dick lately, like about you and me getting together _._ ”

Hero felt her face grow hot. “But it seems a bit far don’t you think?”

“Hero,” Pedro interrupted “it really was for his own good, you should think up some stuff like that to say about Bea too.” He nodded towards the screen. “Look, if we hadn't made him think about it he would have already phoned her and been all weird and competitive and… well we don’t want a return of the 2010 debacle.” As one the room shook their heads.

“And it’s the same with Beatrice” Ursula chimed in. “She’s a friend, she’s truly great, but her first reaction to finding out someone likes her is always going to be picking them apart completely, and that’s even when it’s not Ben. I think this is… sort of… necessary. A-and it is for a great cause”

Hero still wavered for a moment… but she couldn't deny that they had a point. “Okay, as it _is_ to make them happier.”

> **“What if all those times we argued… she was actually really into me”**

“Finally!” sighed Meg, the only person still giving the video her full attention. “four years and at last he gets it!"

“Maybe not so much recently though,” put in Pedro “For a while it’s been more...er… ”

“LOATHING! UN-AD-ULT-ER-A-TED LOATHING!” Sang Meg and Hero at exactly the same time before cackling at the bemused faces of everyone else.

> **“Speak of the devil… sup dickface, pizza at my house this Saturday? C-dog-"**

“C-Dog!?” spluttered Hero, wheeling around to face her boyfriend “Who… _who_ calls you _C-dog_?”

“Some of the guys at football…” muttered Claud and Hero had to ruffle his hair and give him a quick kiss on the cheek to make him smile again.

> **“… you should come laugh at them. Ha ha. Lol”**

“Well she doesn't usually “lol”,” said Hero to Pedro, thinking it better not to mention the “C-dog” again. “But other than that that did sound a lot like her, well done.”

“And the timing too…” Added Balth as the video ended.

Pedro smiled modestly. “Ah it was nothing really. And Hero still hasn't seen the Olive video Balth.”

His friend carefully put down his ukulele and stretched forwards to click onto the next video.

“thank you” whispered Hero.

> **“…Hold hands and they just get all… sweaty…. Urgh”**

“Hey I swear Bea said something about that on her whole “I don’t need a boyfriend” vlog?” said Pedro.

“Yeah” Answered Hero happily. “Destiny. Definitely destiny.”

> **“Hypothetically speaking… if I do get with her… loads of people are gonna come up and be like ooooh Beeen you said you’d never get in a relationshiiip”**

“Now who would do such a thing?” Asked Bath, grinning innocently.

“I would,” said Meg straight away “the second they get together I get to be the first one who says that. I've officially called it.”

“He’s got to the bargaining stage anyway…” Commented Ursula, only half-listening to the others.

“Of what?” Said Claud, his eyebrows knotted together in confusion.

“Accepting that he likes her” she answered simply, and for a second everyone was silent. Until:

> **“Maybe, girlfriends: I like olives.”**

Pedro groaned, Balth hit himself on the forehead with his instrument, Ursula looked faintly alarmed, Hero and Claud exchanged raised-eyebrowed looks and Meg complained loudly that she wasn't going to sit through another one of these and left the room, Robbie’s number already selected on her phone.

> **“,,,One day, on a dare, I ate an entire jar of olives”**

“That was a good day” Pedro said reminiscently to the room in general, leaning back onto the pillows vacated by Meg.

> **“...little you doesn't know what big you knows now”**

The boys all carefully avoided each other’s eye and Hero thanked their stars that Meg wasn't still in the room. Honestly, hardly anyone used “little you” as a euphemism any more anyway.

But then Ben started saying Bea’s name over and over, and she realised why the others had been quite so assured earlier that their plan had worked. He was so obviously half in love with her already. She turned to her friends.

“You did really well guys, I think this actually has a shot at working!”

“Of course it does.” Pedro even sounded slightly affronted. “Now, the question is: Are you girls ready to get Beatrice?”

“I… think so?” Hero said uncertainly, glancing at Ursula for confirmation, who nodded.

“Yeah, I think she might be harder to convince but at least we know more what we’re doing now.”

“Right, cool.” Pedro tapped out an authoritative rhythm on the side of the bed. “Now I-I think Jon’s coming back here with some of his …friends soon, so is it okay if this meeting is adjourned?”

There was a general murmur of assent.

Pedro stood up “So remember: no word of any of this to either of them. Hero… oh, here’s Bea’s phone back by the way, thanks for acquiring that,” Hero shrugged and took it from his offering hand. “but are you sure you’re clear on everything you've got to do? You are the head of this side of the operation.”

“Of course” Hero smiled reassuringly, feeling Claud’s arm snake around her waist.

“Great, we’ll sort out when to meet again after that.” Pedro held the door open so they could all troop onto the landing, where Meg was already sitting on the stairs talking at 1000 miles an hour into her phone. “Love Gods out!”

“Can I walk you back home?” Whispered Claud close into her ear and Hero, with only a small pang at the thought of not getting to cycle home in a quarter of the time, agreed. It was very sweet of him after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Bolded lines taken from the videos "TRUTH" and "OLIVES" from the YouTube channel "benaddicktion" (Written and produced by The CandleWasters) Title taken from Much Ado About Nothing by Shakespeare.  
> I wrote this when I was half asleep and I didn't use a beta and I haven't written fic in ages, so sorry for general rubbishness >.


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